About that party...

As mentioned by the missus, last Friday was our official official going away party, thrown by our incredibly generous, awesome friends the Likers, in conjunction with my sister Heather, and brother-in-law Tom*. In an attempt to keep the tears in check, it was referred to as our New York Launch Party. And while it might have been unsuccessful at keeping the floodgates closed, it was highly successful at kicking ass.

Though it did get off to a strange start. First, we left the garage door open after a grocery store run and got Alex’s lawnmower stolen by a bum. A bum who now has a lawn to be truly proud of, I guess.

Then I stepped on Oksana’s paw. That is, the Likers’ tiny chocolate poodle that fits in the palm of your hand. I feel guilty about this for two reasons. The first being that I love their little doggy and never want to see her hurt.

The second is that Oksana might actually be the cutest dog ever manufactured by the gods of dog**. Oksana is ridiculously, painfully, almost maddeningly cute. So, when I stepped on her paw, I couldn’t get myself to admit that it was my fault. When Alex asked me what happened through Oksana’s yelping and crying, I answered, with a completely straight face, “She jumped under my foot.”

Then Christine stabbed the hell out of herself while cutting open a huge hunk of salami with a sling-blade. She rammed the knife about 3 inches into her hand, calmly looked up as arterial spray repainted the ceiling, and said, “Hm. I just cut myself.”

While everyone but Christine panicked, Alex ran to the store to grab some gauze. She wasn’t about to miss the party for a night in the emergency room, blood and guts or not. Proving for the eight billionth time what awesome friends we have, sacrificing life and limb for a good time. And it was, as anticipated, loud, hilarious, and extra painful the following day.

Which, of course, made leaving even tougher to swallow. But we managed to force it down with Portillo’s cheese fries, hug our friends, and get here safely. Thanks again for everything, everyone.

P.S. This is Oksana. If this picture is any indication, she’s still mad at me.

*HOLY CRAP did this entry get me into hot water. PLEASE LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT my sister and brother-in-law Tom are EQUALLY AS INCREDIBLY GENEROUS AND KICK ASS IN EVERY WAY AS THE LIKERS.

**PLEASE LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT Oksana is the cutest TINY BROWN POODLE OWNED BY OUR FRIENDS THE LIKERS dog ever created by the gods of dog. THERE ARE MANY OTHER MADDENINGLY CUTE DOGS THAT WERE CREATED BY THE GODS OF DOG OF VARIOUS BREED AND COLOR.