Smell Ya Later

Our porn-y next door neighbors must have had the fight to end all fights - the dude moved out two weeks ago and the girl is moving out this weekend. I wonder who we'll be sharing a bedroom wall with next...

*Please revisit THIS POST if you need a refresher

To all the single ladies of NYC

If you're looking for a man, head on over to the Subway on Hudson and Beach at lunchtime on a weekday. They may be khaki pants-wearing bankerdudes, but if you're into that sort of thing you'll have plenty to choose from.

sometimes

i have the urge to throw eggs out of the window at loud people/tourists/asshole-y jerks on the street below.

also, i've often fantasized about carrying a carton of eggs in my bag and chucking them at people who drive like a-holes.

do you feel me on this?

planning nostromo's fate

This is a picture of a conference room during preparations for another major pitch my agency is about to begin. Tell me that doesn’t look like an evil corporation in the not-too-distant-future planning world domination.

Not to mention the fact that 3 of the 5 people in this picture have British accents.

So you know if a bloodthirsty alien gets on board the spaceship, they’ll demand the alien be brought back to earth for study, considering Sigourney Weaver and the rest of her crew expendable.

What? Nobody remembers Alien?

that's some spicy giardia

Admittedly, we let Franny rule the roost a little too soon after saving her grubby life from those rubes in Westchester. (Ok they were nice people...I digress).

We were just so excited about our pre-potty trained dog that we relinquished control of the cable remotes and the good spot on the couch after about 2 weeks. Trust me, we tried to crate train her. We just didn't have the backbone to deal with her desperate cries for freedom. And she didn’t make us regret it for almost two months.

Then she had a little pee accident. Eh, no biggie.

Then another.

Then one or two more.

Then, WHAMMO!

She got slammed with giardia.

Now just when you think to yourself, “Giardia? Is that some delicious Italian antipasto? Is that a condiment you spread on your Polish sausage? Is it spicy? I love spicy food!”

Let me assure you, it is none of those.

In scientific terms, giardia is an anaerobic flagellated protozoan parasite. In layman’s terms, it’s a diarrhea party in our apartment.

Not only is poor Fran sick as a….a….well, a dog, she’s been ostracized by the entire canine community. Apparently giardia is shockingly, horrifically, flesh-eatingly contagious. Which means no dog park (which is where she contracted the disease in the first place, I might add), and no doggie day care. It also means everything she’s ever touched in her 10 months of existence had to be sterilized with a toothbrush.

And it means (cue high pitched violins) that we can get it.

Actually, as long as we lay off the makeout sessions for a week or two, that’s pretty unlikely. Sadly though, the poor mutt has to stay inside all day long in our 600 square foot isolation unit. We’ve been running her in the mornings to try to wear her out, and she gets hour-long walks at lunch, but still…

Anyway, I’d like to throw in a little plug here. If your dog is planning on contracting giardia any time soon, I’d suggest picking up a Flor rug. They’re super cool little modular rugs that fit together in squares, so you can clean them separately when things get…messy. Unfortunately Franny has been picking ours off one by one like a game of diarrhea breakout, so it’s time to select some new squares.

Something tells me we won’t be picking canary yellow and white next time.

letter from the editors

This blog is meant to accomplish 2 things:

1. Remind us of things we did while living in New York.
2. Tell jokes.

Not necessarily in that order. Sometimes I'm guilty of a colorful retelling of events that I find funny. I admit it. If at any point I or we offend anyone reading the blog, we sincerely apologize.

In the immortal words of every comedian who's ever lived...

They're just jokes, folks.

the perfect* saturday night =

my best canine galpal + a bottle o' wine + one of my top 5 favorite movies



*the only thing that would make it better is if K was here