An Open Letter to the Crazy Girl Next Door -

We. Can. Hear. You. We can hear everything! We can hear it when you’re in the bathroom and you cough while on the toilet. We can hear it when you turn your shower on in the morning. We can also hear the nasty fighting and “making up” you do with your boyfriend Colin. (Yes, we even know his name.)

The blood curdling screams when you have an argument make us think that you are being slowly murdered with a butter knife. The wail-crying and histrionics make you sound like a deranged, hormonal teenager who’s boyfriend was caught talking to another girl. What’s really funny is that’s exactly what you two were fighting about!

But the make-up “make out” last night was enough. As we were peacefully trying to fall asleep we heard an extremely loud jackhammering type of noise. To our dismay, it wasn’t the construction going on outside - it was happening right in your bedroom.

So please, Crazy Girl, for the love of god, SHUT THE HELL UP!

Sincerely,
Your Neighbors from #2G