Thursday, January 29, 2009

uni-tarded


Just when I start to get really fed up with advertising, and I want to quit and go dig holes for a living, I see this commercial. I don't think it's running in Chicago, so I needed to spread the message as quickly as possible to our loved ones, so that they know how to best protect themselves in these uncertain times. The logic is so airtight it’s impossible to argue with. But just in case you’re the argumentative type, here are a couple of (what I like to call) bulletproof bulletpoints:

• The reason my identity was stolen and I received a two thousand dollar credit card charge from an Aggressive Hobbies in Louisiana was because I failed to use the exclusive Uni-Superink formula.

• The whole Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac fiasco could have been avoided had they used the exclusive Uni-superink formula, which "gets inside the paper fibers, and won't come off, ever."

• S. Epatha Merkerson has a Golden Globe, Screen Actors Guild, an Emmy, and two Tony Awards.


Can someone please get Obama the god damn exclusive uni-superink formula before he signs our country away to the Chinese?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

too late. the chinese own our asses 1000 times over. you can thank gwb for that one.

s. moe said...

was he signing deals with the exclusive uni-superink formula?

no, I don't think so.

brode said...

it's playing here in chicago, dumbest commercial ever, thought the same thing when I saw it....

kub said...

but, walking around "wall st" during her spiel gives her so much credibility.