so much for that experiment

We promised we wouldn’t become completely annoying crazy dog people and have all of our posts be about our new dog. So I’m not gonna write about that. Even though it’s all we talk about. Ever.

I’ve been taking a break from listening to music on the way to work lately. Not by choice. I lost my iPod. Also, a homeless guy screamed laughing at my oversized headphones recently on the subway, so I won’t wear them anymore.

It’s been an interesting experiment to take in all the sights and sounds of New York on my way to work. On my sidewalk alone, there’s a bagel/coffee guy kiosk, two candy/gum/lottery guys, a hot breakfast guy with a sizzling griddle, a gyro dude, and, when it’s warm, a fresh fruit guy. I love all of these people. They’re part of what makes New York cool. Most of them are out there come rain or shine. I love it.

But before I pass any of that, I pass the pirated DVD guys. This, I hate.

It’s the first thing I see at the end of my block. Actually, it’s the first thing I hear. It goes like this:

5 dollar DVD! Buy five, get one free!
FIIIIIIIIVVVE DOLLAR DEEVEEDEE, BAHHHHHHFIIIIIVEEGETONE FREE!!

But it’s not the quaint, local charm of a sing-songy salespitch. It’s the sharp, obnoxious rasp of a brazen hustle.

Maybe it’s because I know how they get those DVD’s. They slip a video camera into a movie theater, sit in the back row, and shoot the screen as it plays, complete with people getting up for pee breaks and shouting at the screen in front of you.

But what do I care? It’s pretty much the analog version of stealing movies and music online, which I’ve, ahem, never done.

I guess maybe it’s because the table is set up five feet from the crowded-ass A/C/E stop that swarms like a hornets’ nest every day at 9 am. People are staggering around, the sun’s beaming, there’s confusion, disorientation, fear. The hot stink of human panic heightens my senses like a soldier in combat, and I can suddenly hear whispers a block away and dog whistles in midtown and my body’s tired so tired and then--

FIIIIIIIIVVVE DOLLAR DEEVEEDEE, BAHHHHHHFIIIIIVEEGETONE FREE!!

Crap.

I gotta buy a new iPod.


P.S. here’s a picture of a fire escape I thought looked cool.