Wednesday, August 27, 2008

An exaggeration-free post




Even though we're using the broker provided to us by The Corporation to find an apartment, we thought we’d do a little research on our own, just to see if we could get lucky. So we got a couple numbers for management companies from a few of our NYC dwelling friends. I finally got around to calling one of them. Here’s how it went.

INT. ADVERTISING OFFICE-AFTERNOON

A bored ADVERTISING COPYWRITER stretches and yawns after his afternoon nap. He decides to make a phone call to a NEW YORK MANAGEMENT COMPANY.

COPYWRITER: BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

THE SUPER: Yeah?

COPYWRITER: (voice faltering due to instant confusion) is this the, uh-- (scrambling for the name of the management company) Is this…the management company?

THE SUPER: Who are you?

COPYWRITER: I’m…my friend is one of your tenants? I’ll be relocating to New York with my wife and I’d like to know if you have any one-bedrooms available?

THE SUPER: Yeah, well you can call back during business hours. 7 to 3. How about that? Right now I’m exercising, I’m all out of breath (begins breathing heavily) and I’m not gonna be of any help to you.

COPYWRITER: Ok, 7 to 3 you say?

THE SUPER: Bye.

THE END.

A few things to note:
1. According to my Jerky Boys translator guide, all landlords in New York are called "The Super," which is shorthand for "The Super Across the Way."

2. Clearly I am an asshole for not knowing that business hours for Supers are 7am to 3pm, which was nicely emphasized by his “How about that?”

3. In order to prove that he was exercising, he began breathing heavily just after saying, “right now I’m exercising.”

4. If all my phone calls are going to be like this from here on out, I’m gonna have to start recording them to prove I’m not making them up. Cause that was awesome.

3 comments:

MMJ said...

Hey guys,

This site is hilarious. Guess I should stop lecturing your sister on Manhattan v. Brooklyn, tho. Hope to see you before you leave. Good luck with the move!

s. moe said...

Thanks dude! hope to see you too!

Elizabeth said...

Maybe you should send that guy your copy of "How to Be Like Mike: Life Lessons From Basketball’s Best." Sounds like he needs it.